Written by Tommi Vincent

Right off the back I am going to use a word that has become a bad word- “submission”. Yes, the “s” word! Submission has been so distorted to point of diminished value. This is woefully unfortunate, because there is a sustaining power that is given to a wife with this one simple gesture. Let me put it in another context, respect. Wives respect your husbands. I can hear you now, “well he needs to respect me too!” (insert eye and neck roll) No doubt! What goes missing in translation from the time the directive lands in our brain to initializing execution,  is a clear directive for husbands to die for his wife like Jesus died for the church. I submit to you, if he is dying for you that is all encompassing of him respecting you, loving you, protecting you, providing for you, being faithful to you… doing whatever it requires so that his beloved wife may live. (Read Ephesians 5) The husband has his marching orders, too. Okay enough about him. This is especially for the ladies who are married or considering marriage.


Marriage is a journey that takes us through many hills and valleys, while running the full gamut of every single emotion you will ever have. There have been days I have been head over the hills for Troy, and others not so much. I am not disclosing anything he does not already know. If you have been married for any period of time, like the 25 years we have been married, it comes with the territory. My enduring commitment, no matter what, has been to show Troy respect. This has not been difficult in theory, because he lays it all on the line for me and our children. My challenge has been when my “feelings” attempt to hijack what I know to be true. Which brings me to the scripture I stand on for my marriage —Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy–mediate on these things. Philippians 4:8 Ladies you must have something that will snap you back to why you made the “until death” commitment to your partner. Let me make a disclaimer here, this applies to safe/healthy relationships absent of abuse and harm to your well-being and/or the well-being of your children. When my brain starts conjuring up hypotheticals or my mind creates a narrative that is not true, I will sit and take a trip down memory lane to remember why I love Troy so much. This exercise has not failed me yet. I fully expect it never will. Scriptures confirms God does not lie and His word will not return void. It is a truth I can fully depend on.


It is easy to drift into the blame game when your marriage is challenged. Even easier to pat yourself on the back when things are going great! The key is to be able to be consistent in your thinking, stable minded. This takes discipline and quite frankly maturity. Marriage is for grown folks, and I can assure you, I was not grown when Troy and I got married. I was 19 years old and he was 23. Without pause let me just say, we had a lot of maturing to do. Thank God for His grace and mercy. My perspective is not based off of what I heard, it is rooted in what I know. Respecting your husband is not a sign of weakness. To the contrary, it is an indication of a wife’s power and exercise of self-control. Your ability to sow respect, makes way for a harvest of love. Respecting our husbands is forever sexy and a timeless fruit that will not ever sag, droop, nor shrivel up. You know what I am saying?! For those of you thinking, “What about me?” This blog post is all about you and written just for you. Living your best life and being your best self begins and ends with you self-investing in your growth. Like I always say, “Self-investment with a 100% rate of return!”